Assault of the Homicidal 'maters
by rachor
Summary: Attack of the Killer Tomatoes parody umm sort of. Thought I should up the rating just in case. I have a couple of more chapters in the works. They'll be out soon, promise.
1. Default Chapter

Assault of the Homicidal 'maters  
chapter:1  
Author:Rachor  
A/N: I don't own diddly or squat. Review or not to review that is your question.  
  
News Anchor Herald Hiney: "We interrupt the news to bring you this news flash! The locale police have been dispatched to the first 8th annual Mime convention being held in Cooter O'Brian's backyard. We go to my Co-Anchor Barbara Pole who is on the scene."   
  
Co-Anchor Barbara Pole:"Hi Ken. It seems some type of attacking tomatoes showed up around 5:00 o'clock. It was during a "man walking against the wind in a box" demonstration that about a bushel of exceptionally large tomatoes showed up and started heckling convention goers. Many had to be taken to the hospital to be treated for shock after the tomatoes used tazers on them. This came after some Mimes tried to lasso them with an invisible rope. Police Chief B. Moroney said he'd seen nothing like it in all of his 2 weeks on the force "Them must be some sorta super-natural 'maters 'cause the ropes them boys used just couldn't hold 'em."   
  
News Anchor Herald Hiney: "Thank you Barbara Pole for that in depth story. We now return you to your regularly scheduled program. But, stayed tuned to WBOOB for the latest on this breaking story." 


	2. Just trying to help

Assault of the Homicidal 'Maters  
chapter:2  
Author:Rachor  
  
A/N: YES!! I now own diddley and squat. As for the rest well if you can figure out what movies I'm making fun of umm I mean parodying I don't own it. Also any similaries between these news anchors and real peeps is coincidental, but if you do know peeps like this move real slow around them.   
  
News Anchor Herald Hiney: "We now go to Special Reporter Smokin Roaches for an update on the attacking tomatoes. Smokin......."  
  
Smokin Roaches: "Yeah dude, like I'm here on Main St. and like there's these really big red things harassing people, and like they're now moving over to...OH, DUDE!! Some old lady just got 'sauced' by one over on the side walk. She's like lying in the street covered in red goo. And like her purse is lying next to her. And it looks like all her meds are scattered...all...over... the...place....."  
  
News Anchor Herald Hiney: "Smokin, are you there? We must have lost the audio because we can see your lips moving but can't hear you. Smokin....Smokin where are you going? Well folks it looks like Special Reporter Smokin Roaches is going to the aid of the tomato victim"   
  
Co-Anchor Barbra Pole: "I'm not so sure about that Ken. It looks to me like he's just stuffing little blue and yellow pills in his pockets and is now running off."  
  
News Anchor Herald Hiney: "Ha-Ha Barbara. He's just going for help. Because we here at WBOOB care about our viewers and would never leave a victim in the gutter. Unlike Joche Frost over there at WBLAB I remember one time that son of a... "   
  
Co-Anchor Barbra Pole: "I hate to interrupt Ken, but I've just been handed this note from our producer. He asks that if you see our Special Reporter Smokin Roaches and he's naked, calling himself 'The Lizard King' please call 555-1269. But if he's singing Brittney Kentwood cover songs call the local swat team."  
  
News Anchor Herald Hiney: "Uh yeah, well stayed tuned to WBOOB for the latest on the attacking tomatoes. Thank you and good night." 


	3. How Do They Always Find That One?

Anchor Herald Heiny: Good evening and thank you for joining us. Or first story tonight is about the rumors that other vegetables are coming to life. We turn now Co-Anchor Barbra Pole at Muskrateer Universaty for peoples reactions. Barbara...

Co-Anchor Barbara Pole: Thank you Ken. As you can see behind me the students here do not look to be to afaid of these new rumors, they seem to be going about their day like normal despite the fact that not far from here a gang of tomatoes and other suspious looking vegetables party crashed a meet and greet at the local cemetary.

Co-Anchor Barbara Pole: Excuse me sir may I have a moment?

The only one toothed local in the crowd of 200 students watching the newscaster from the sidelines rubbernecking the event : Yep.

Co-Anchor Barbara Pole: Thank you. Now tell me. Have you seen the news about the attacking tomatoes?

The only one toothed local in the crowd of 200 students watching the newscaster from the sidelines rubbernecking the event : Yep.

Co-Anchor Barbara Pole: Have you yourself had any contact with the vicious vegetables?

The only one toothed local in the crowd of 200 students watching the newscaster from the sidelines rubbernecking the event : Yep. Mah granny did at a meet and greet the other day.

Co-Anchor Barbara Pole: I see so can you tell me your thoughts on these other vegetable reported to have been amongst the tomates then?

The only one toothed local in the crowd of 200 students watching the newscaster from the sidelines rubbernecking the event: I believe they should stick with their own kind. Next thing you know them little fellers will be wantin our califlowers as thiers. When will it stop I asks ya? It just taint right. If them thar vegetable were ment to mix they'd have been growed in the same patch.

Co-Anchor Barbara Pole: So you're saying you are more bothered by the fact that more then one vegetable is reported to be in a group more then said group's actions?

The only one toothed local in the crowd of 200 students watching the newscaster from the sidelines rubbernecking the event: Yes'em I am. I don't hold to them mixed vegetables. It just ain't right.

Co-Anchor Barbara Pole: Okay. Um back to you Ken.

Anchor Herald Heiny: Just facinating Co-Anchor Barbara Pole. After the break we'll find out how to survive a Swat Team attack when we join our expert on the subject Special Reporter Smokin Roaches in his hospital room............


	4. That Is All Kinds of Wrong

We interupt your program for this special news cast, again: 

News Anchor Herald Hiney: We go to MY Co-Anchor Barbara Pole who is at the scene of the latest irate Tomato attack at "The Death Wish Retirement Village" in Upchuck Missouri"

Co-Anchor Barbara Pole: "Thanks Ken. It seems one of the 'Attaking Tomatoes' as they are offically being called was lurking outside the dining hall harassing the female residents as they arrived for dinner. It is reported by eye witnesses that It was waving a large ammount of dollar bills while a strobe light flashed and cheesy 70's style music heard only in strip clubs played in the background. Many of the employees became ill after a 75 yr. old grandmother of 12 took it upon herself to 'shake her money makers' and proceeded to do a strip tease for it to the tune of "Oh Susanna." Mr. Charles Branson, the son of a long time resident has vowed vigilanty justice after hearing about the incident on the local news.

News Anchor Herald Hiney: Co-Anchor Barbara Pole, are you alright you look a little ill and shaky?

Co-Anchor Barbara Pole: I'm fine Ken but I think I'll be better once Special Correspondant Smokin' Roaches is releashed from Bell-Rung Hospital. The things you see out here.

News Anchor Herald Hiney: No sorry I don't Co-anchor Barbara Pole.  
Security tape footage that Co-Anchor Barbara Pole has personally viewed will be shown here first at WBOOB and in it's entirety from the moment the Tomato rolled into frame till the oversized granny panties hit the floor. Lets see Joche Frost over at WBLAB top that! We now return you to your regularly schedualed paid commercial programing.


End file.
